they all call you names
but I still think of all your best qualities
selfless. caring. loving. trustworthy
you engraved your name in my heart
and slowly slipped away
if I knew that night in February,
would be the last time seeing you
I would have
stayed out longer
hugged you harder
admired your face longer
held you closer longer
-XOXO chana
we are all just lost souls
tryna find love in this
mad mad world
Love –
something we all crave and need
yet it the hardest thing to find
brings out the best and worst of you
something we fight for even when we shouldn’t
this four letter word
holds so much power
-XOXO chana
I remember the
good ol days
simple hangouts
study dates
laughing for hours on end
with bubble tea in our hands
but now things have changed –
best friend turned stranger
you’ve walked out
of my life
with no explanation
but somehow I remain calm
now all I wish you is
nothing but the best
-XOXO chana
rest in peace
to what
we had
2 years strong
but in the end
you betrayed
the tiny thread
of trust —
you broke me
now,
I keep
digging up
the grave
of our love
to reminice
all that we
once had
-XOXO chana
I still
check up on you
In hopes that
someday soon
you will
come back
home to me
I keep
wishing upon the stars
for you to return
I find my self
talking to the stars
because afterall
you are my guiding star
-XOXO chana
they tell her to move on
they say he’s
a cheater
but they don’t know him
like she does
___________________________
She misses
those stolen glances
his eyes
his smile
his hugs
those study dates
___________________________
he once used to call her
with endearing terms
now he calls her
crazy
mental
psycho
delusional
-XOXO chana
they say
home is where your heart is
but you stole my heart
I fell in love
with a Ajax wasteman
now all these familiar places
are shifting to unfamiliar
I feel lost
wandering these lonely streets
without you
-XOXO chana
when I was losing my mind
going stir crazy
stuck in the house
you told me you would be there for me
if I needed anything
you would help
yet 6 months down the line
history was repeating its self
and you,
stood there and lied to my face
told me you didn’t know who I was talking about
said I should move on —-
I am not stupid
I caught on very quick
I noticed the small things
I many have anxiety and depression
But my memory is sharp
I write everything down
to show y’all once all the lies end
even when I call you out on the lies
you switch the conversation
you smirk
you smile
you laugh
y’all are playing with my life
as if I am a puppet
I am still waiting on a
sincere apology
-XOXO chana
the history of my people
runs in my veins
the stories of inhumane acts
run like a film roll in my head
the legacy of my family & tamils
keeps me going
everything I do is to honour
my blood
the history of tamils
sometimes keeps me up at night
2009 ,
haunts me
my appama and ammama missing in times of crisis
my uncle bombed to death
my aunt left widowed
how do they sleep at night
knowing they took the lives of
hundreds of thousand innocent lives
the war left
thousands of my people
displaced
killed
missing
murdered
sexually assaulted
kidnapped
dead
bombed
raped
how did they get away
with the numerous
war crimes
-XOXO chana
even on my darkest
I still speak about you
with endearing terms
and spill my heart out
to anyone willing to listen
they say –
If he were the one
he would have ;
stayed
been present
consisten
they call you:
a wastebucket
a fuc boi
toxic
an ass
a cheat –
but I know
in my soul and with everyinch of my heart
the mistakes we were were pure and out of innocence
I need time to grow and bloosom
but I still have faith in
you & us
even when your actions and words tell me otherwise
I miss the old you – the real you
-XOXO chana
