Growing up, I always felt different from the rest of my family. little did they know the lack of self confidence I faced.
One anecdote that my parents tell others when they talk about having me is this one. After giving birth to me, I was placed in a box away from my parents. When they finally got to see and hold me I appeared different than I had at birth. My mom immediately told my dad this is not my child – this is someone elses. I had deep dark melanin enriched skin with curly hair. My mom didnt believe I was her daughter.
My mom says that I get my melanin enriched skin from her father – my grandpa. Growing up in a household with individuals with lighter skin I suffered from lack of confidence. I didn’t look like my immediate family. I looked different and the feeling of indifference stayed with me for majority of my life.
I had rich brown skin – the only people I felt related to in a sense were people in the movies and tv shows. I was dark skinned and couldn’t relate to anyone in my immediate life.
My insecurities with my skin made me want to hide out and led me to cover up every inch of my body. Even in the summer heat I wore long pants and a sweater.
As a child, I was bullied by classmate for the colour of my skin. They would make jokes about me and my skin – they made comments like “ if we turned off the lights, we wouldn’t be able to see you”, “your black”, “you got darker than usual”. They didn’t realize at the time but these comments hurt my confidence and would worsen my levels of self esteem.
Eventually, high school rolled around and by then I embraced by dark, melanin enriched skin. I decided I wouldn’t let others affect my self esteem. I finally started to love myself and my dark skin.
Have you suffered from lack of confidence and self esteem? I would love to hear about it in the comments