Growing up, I always felt different from the rest of my family. little did they know the lack of self confidence I faced.
One anecdote that my parents tell others when they talk about having me is this one. After giving birth to me, I was placed in a box away from my parents. When they finally got to see and hold me I appeared different than I had at birth. My mom immediately told my dad this is not my child – this is someone elses. I had deep dark melanin enriched skin with curly hair. My mom didnt believe I was her daughter.
My mom says that I get my melanin enriched skin from her father – my grandpa. Growing up in a household with individuals with lighter skin I suffered from lack of confidence. I didn’t look like my immediate family. I looked different and the feeling of indifference stayed with me for majority of my life.
I had rich brown skin – the only people I felt related to in a sense were people in the movies and tv shows. I was dark skinned and couldn’t relate to anyone in my immediate life.
My insecurities with my skin made me want to hide out and led me to cover up every inch of my body. Even in the summer heat I wore long pants and a sweater.
As a child, I was bullied by classmate for the colour of my skin. They would make jokes about me and my skin – they made comments like “ if we turned off the lights, we wouldn’t be able to see you”, “your black”, “you got darker than usual”. They didn’t realize at the time but these comments hurt my confidence and would worsen my levels of self esteem.
Eventually, high school rolled around and by then I embraced by dark, melanin enriched skin. I decided I wouldn’t let others affect my self esteem. I finally started to love myself and my dark skin.
Have you suffered from lack of confidence and self esteem? I would love to hear about it in the comments
Lately I feel like my life has been flipped upside down. Everything has been going wrong. I’ve been feeling more anxious and slightly depressed. My bestfriend stopped talking to me and I don’t know what I did wrong. She slowly faded out of my life and is now avoiding me. It feels as if no one stays present in my life – they leave as soon as they get a chance. Maybe my anxiety becomes annoying. Maybe im overthinking it. Maybe its all my fault. Maybe she wasn’t meant to be in my life. Maybe I fucked up. Maybe I pushed her away. Don’t get me wrong – I wish her all the best in her future endeavours but I cant help but wonder what went wrong. Will I ever hear back from her?
hello loves, I am back with another post 🙂 this post is inspired by Oliva Lucie Blake. so shout out to her. you should definetly go check out her blog.
without further ado here we go.
3 places I want to travel to
Kandy, Sri Lanka
2. Dream place to live
To be honest I think I love where I live currently, Toronto. I don’t ever really see my self moving but if I were to it would probably still be in Canada like Vancouver or somewhere up north in Ontario
3. A TV show i’m obessed with
4. Last 3 songs I listened to
Invisible String – Taylor Swift
Epiphany – Taylor Swift
Mad Woman – Taylor Swift
5. Three people I’d love to have dinner with
Waldo – my cousin Atheesh, who passed away in 2016
6. Favourite Movie of All Time
A Walk to Remember
7. Favourite Animal
Cat or Dog
8. Ultimate comfort food
Mac and Cheese
9. Favourite Season
Autumn is the best 🙂
10. Favourite Holiday
Christmas – love the spirit, colours, snow, giving gifts, the trees
11. 5 things I love about myself
my crooked teeth
12. Something I’m proud of
starting this blog
doing a TED x talk at my highschool
buying my domain for my blog
13. Describe your ideal day
waking up to the sounds of my family, having a nice breakfast, and just relaxing for the rest of the day with a big ol’ cup of tea and good book
14. Favourite childhood memory
buying all the books I could at the scholastic book fair
15. Biggest Pet Peeve
scratching of nails on a chalk board
people who deceive you
Be sure to leave your responses to these questions in the comments.